We don't necessarily need our partners to come fully therapized, our confusion around settling, and the emotional labor necessary for us all in relationships w/ Kara Loewentheil | Ep 122

A few months prior, I caught the wedding announcement for my friend and colleague, Kara Lowentheil, in the NY Times. It wasn't the flowers or her dress (even though those were, of course, stunning) that caught my attention. It was the initial texting exchange she had with her now husband in the early days of dating. In short: It was pretty clunky.

I spend a lot of time working through and dealing with clients initial digital conversations — in the apps and via text. It can be SO EASY to make grandiose assumptions around a person based on their texting behavior. In this episode, Kara and I unpack:

• The problematic nature of those assumptions and how they're really more reflective of our own conditioning and thought patterns
• The confusion we have around what it means to "settle" and how Kara views giving in a relationship (this is SO good)
• Kara's go to perspective on marriage from her relationship coach
• The emotional labor Kara believes in necessary for us to do for our partner – and them for us (differentiating between caretaking versus a collaborative effort)
• How we don't necessarily need to have our partners come "fully therapized" before we meet

....and so much more. This is definitely an episode I'll go back to and listen to again and again!

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Podcast Production by James Jorge